Errand to the “Dokan”

By Maryam Ezzaldeen

Translated by: Ramadan Ahmed

At that moment, I wished the road would swallow me! With sluggish steps, I tried to keep moving forward. I opened our house’s door and stepped onto the street on an errand to the “dokan” – a colloquial term for a small shop. I said to myself: I’ll greet our neighbour, who sits under the shade of the higglig tree, also shaded by thick clouds… The weather was cloudy, pleasant, and refreshing. The streets had been washed by rain, and all the greenery was vibrant as if promised abundant goodness. It was as though “Karari” had wrapped itself in clouds, flowing around and through it, blessed with God’s protection and care. Everything around it was ash, while it was lush and green, joyfully lost in the details of the rainy season. But as for me, despite the generosity of Karari’s land and the sky’s blessings… I didn’t want to be seen by anyone, nor did I want to see anyone…

And because peace is a principle in Islam, I forced myself to rise and said to our neighbour: Peace be upon you… How are you?… I looked at the small bags of “tesali” (popular nuts in Sudan sold in small bags), waiting for someone to buy them, and at the distinctive neem branch she held to swat away flies from her goods. I asked her: How is Muzan?… She is her young daughter who takes the morning and sometimes evening shifts… In the child, I see patience… I see effort…

Every time I see the mother and child when I go outside… I feel weighed down and burdened by Sudan… Every time I see Muzan, I have to think of my country and the future of its children…

My heaviness faded away after that exchange of greetings, and I walked confidently to fetch the needed item… After a quick conversation with ‘Sayed al-Dokan’ (the shopkeeper), I asked myself, how can a merchant do business when everything in the country is upside down?!

Yet, he’s a good merchant… He managed to stand out and bring olives! Olives in the neighbourhood shop… Sometimes, I feel it’s an economic achievement!

On my way back, the breeze gently played with me as if whispering: ‘Ahhh, take it easy… lighten your load… You carry the burdens of an entire country as if you’re responsible for its winds, rains, floods, bridges, homes, for its ignorance and awareness, for its children and youth.’

Even ‘Amu’ (uncle), who never responds to greetings as he sits under the shade of his giant tree… You wonder, is he troubled? Why doesn’t he care about anything… Doesn’t it tire him to watch passersby coming and going??

I usually pass him on my way to the shop, but this time he wasn’t there… I hope he’s alright!… I completed the errand despite its weight as I noticed many children scattered in our neighbourhood. It seems they have come here, displaced from unstable areas… For some reason, they are very naughty.

I met Mohamed, the son of our other neighbour… A few days ago, due to his naughtiness, he fell from the roof of their house. The child has nothing to fill his time… You see children like Mohamed wandering the streets, lost… This time, he surprised me and greeted me first, as I usually initiated the greeting… This time, he beat me to it. It seems the power of a simple greeting is unmatched! He gathers stones in front of houses and chats with his friends… They draw scattered lines on the street… They scatter the stones, then collect them, then scatter them again… And the street becomes a witness…

Scattered stones, a neem twig, remnants of rainwater, damp sand, refreshed plants, lines drawn on the ground, confused! Mohamed, Muzan, Muzan’s mother, the uncle who doesn’t respond to greetings, Sayed al-Dokan (the shopkeeper), me, the ‘recharge vendor’ (sellers sitting in small kiosks selling small items, including mobile phone airtime), children, many children, lost mothers… and the streets bear witness to us, keeping the neem twig and the lines drawn by children’s hands, expressing an emptiness that has filled the time and filled the characters… but has not filled the universe with anything… for His divine laws are not altered by mere events!